Life On A B-I7

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Marcus Aurelius

“In the year 170, the most powerful man in the world sat down to write. Not to an audience or for publications, but to himself, for himself. His name was Marcus Aurelius, the emperor of Rome. Miraculously, these writings survive –and contain within them a profound prescription for wisdom, justice, discipline and courage.”

Almost every day I sit down to write. My goal is not to impart wisdom to anyone other than myself. This blog is the result of that effort. There is much that doesn’t find its way into this blog, but what does is material that I hope will remind me of where I’ve been, and where I need to go.

No Kings Rally

My sign for the No Kings Rally on March 28.

Stop Wars Now

A Poem by Lal Ded

I didn’t believe in it for a moment
but I gulped down the wine of my own voice
And then I wrestled with the darkness inside me,
knocked it down, clawed at it, ripped it to shreds.

We need to examine the darkness inside ourselves. If we can’t do that honestly and describe to others what those failings are, we are not truly human. Don’t ask someone “what are your strengths?” Instead ask them, “what are your shortcomings?” The answer will reveal all you need to know about that person.

Illusory Truth Effect

Beware the “Illusory Truth Effect.” That is the tendency to believe something you have heard multiple times. This is a trick politicians use to suck us into following them. This is usually accompanied by the suggestion (again made multiple times) that they are the only one that has the answer.

Rogue State

The real failure of America is that the richest and most powerful nation in the world — the nation that has led the world since World War II and that established the postwar international order emphasizing multilateralism, democracy, human rights, and the rule of law — is now being led by a rogue president who rejects all these values.

If you voted for that man because you thought he would be good for your 401K, because he would lower the price of gasoline, because he would end all wars around the world, or for any number of other promises he made that have all been broken, you have been duped.

Now, let’s talk about immigration. America was founded as a pluralist nation. The strength of our economy and society has always been based on the diversity of our population. You cannot have a nation of golf-playing white people and expect that nation to thrive socially and culturally.

Now, let’s talk about war. America is engaged in a genocidal war and the American people don’t even know why we are fighting it, not to mention the fact that whatever the perceived threat, it can not be solved by bombing a nation. Many U.S. allies have declared the American and Israeli action a violation of international law and a breach of the UN Charter. In what world does it make sense to wage a war without the support of your closest allies…

Now let’s talk about democracy. Never in America’s history have we been led by a man with more authoritarian desire. Authoritarianism is something that is difficult to roll back once it becomes instantiated. We have a weakened Congress that is afraid to do its job — legislate. We have an administration that has filled its leadership rolls with people that have little to no experience in the duties that have been assigned to them. We have people in positions of leadership who outwardly confess that violence and chaos are valid leadership strategies. We are watching the dismissal of anyone in government whose job it is to provide legal guardrails. These deficiencies are hallmarks of authoritarianism, not democracy.

Let’s talk about government waste. At the same time that benefits and important programs supporting Americans are being cut, Government spending is at an all time high on things that are benefiting those in power instead of the people they are supposed to be representing.

We are in for a tough time ahead. Let’s consider the possibility of a change in leadership direction. Let’s encourage our legislators to start talking to each other. Let’s consider electing representatives that are more interested in America than they are in their own wealth or self-aggrandizement.

Let’s think critically about the future of our country when we go to the polls.

Why Am I Here?

The title might lead you to think I’m asking an existential question, I’m not. What I’m asking is “why am I here and not on Facebook?” The simple answer is I look much better in print than I do in a video feed or a photo. That’s not the only reason. I’m 72 years old. All I’ve done my whole like is write (and occasionally take photos to remind myself where I’ve been). To go after “followers” and “produce content” for consumption by strangers, all the while counting my likes and follows is not something I want to spend time doing. (You can, if you prefer, insert the word “curmudgeon” in place of any pronouns used to identify me.)

Naturally, you’re about to ask me so what is a blog if not simply an old school version of a Facebook presence. Fair question. The difference, for me at least, is I am reaping the reward that comes from writing without the pressure of having to “create.” So what good is writing without pressure? It fulfills me in a private and personal way that forcing myself to produce content can’t. Also, on occasion a friend drops in to see what I’m up to. But perhaps more important than that, I’m leaving behind a legacy. Even if it is one that is largely ignored. Some of the people closest to me don’t look at these pages, that’s okay. When I’m all done writing, or when I can’t write any longer, I’m going to have all of this printed and handed out at my memorial. (As punishment for the survivors I suppose.) I’m well over a thousand pages, so you shouldn’t feel bad if you skip reading a few here and there when you are handed all this and told your dad, partner, friend, wanted you to have this. If you’re not handed this, it’s because I decided to have it buried with me instead, or cremated with me, or composted with me, I’m not sure which path I’m going to take yet. Whether your receive this or not is largely dependent on whether or not I eventually master English grammar.

Ignore What?

President Ronald Reagan signed an executive order directing in part “no person employed by or acting on behalf of the United States Government shall engage in, or conspire to engage in, assassination.” Reagan was not the first President to sign such an order. The Reagan version narrowed the scope significantly, i.e., “no person employed by or acting on behalf of.” Reagan’s version of the assassination ban remains in effect, last amended by George W. Bush in 2008.

Unfortunately, sitting Presidents are not legally bound to obey the orders of previous administrations. Most often a new administration will rescind previous orders. President Trump hasn’t revoked it, but he has chosen to ignore it.

What? (Continued)

Besides the love of my life and my daughters, there are few people that care more for me than my camping buddy. Honestly, he can be hammered out of his mind but when it’s time to call it, he makes sure I get into my trailer instead of walking over a cliff. He even turns on the heat in the trailer for me because he knows the digital control panel is too complicated for me… Just so there is no confusion on this topic, that is a true friend.

This post may contain some slight exaggeration, but on balance, it is basically accurate.

What?

Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of this mind, I remember writing about this topic: Why write? Just so there is no confusion, I don’t do this for you. I don’t even know who “you” is. It certainly isn’t the love of my life. (Occasionally I will read something I have written to her, when she’s half awake.) It’s not my cat. He can’t read. I tried to teach him to read so I would have a following, but that was a hopeless endeavor. It’s not my good friend that goes camping with me. As pathological as he is, I can’t even get him to read this stuff. It’s 2:40 in the morning. That should tell you everything you need to know. I do this for me. That’s it. There is no other possible explanation.

So what am I saying?

Nothing really. My vain hope is that doing this will prevent my brain from turning to Jello. I think it has already started (turning to Jello) maybe that’s why no one reads this… They don’t want to feel obligated to commit me. Still and all, I can go camping on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. I can get 25 miles off road on the East Rim of the Grand Canyon above Glen Canyon Damn. How many people can say that? Damn few. Even our most respected leaders that pride themselves on knowing all and being able to do anything, have not had this experience. I consider myself blessed. So you play golf and you own golf courses all over the world… Good for you. All golf courses are pretty much the same, especially if your caddy will retrieve all of your shanks and put them back in the fairway for you. (I suppose that’s another story.) Getting back to the matter at hand, it’s now 3:10 in the morning and I probably need to try and get some sleep. Thank you for not reading this.

Not Too Bad

My life good (better than not too bad). I have a beautiful and loving companion. I have a cat. I have friends that probably shouldn’t love me, but they do. I have beautiful daughters and two x-wives that don’t hate me (as far as I know). I am reasonably healthy for a man of my years. Enough good health to allow me to pursue that activities that I love. Who could ask for anything more?

Sometimes I Cry

I’m not sure why. I don’t know if it is physiological or emotional or something else. I’m not even sure if it is a problem or a good thing. (I’m hoping it’s not a problem.) It’s been occurring almost once a day. It’s often brought on by music but not always. I think music stimulates this response because our thoughts alone are not able to move us quite as easily as music can. Music engages more senses than thought does. There could be other reasons. Let’s get weird for a second, not “bank truck at a funeral parade” weird, but truly weird: Perhaps I have finally succeeded in slowing my life down enough that I am starting to feel things I should have been feeling all along. I think as humans we are supposed to feel, but we have trained ourselves not to for all sorts of reasons. I think we are becoming a society that only thinks what we are told to think. In a way we have lost the skill required to feel what is inside of us. Of course there could be other explanations. Perhaps I am reaching the end of my life and this is my body telling me to pay attention while I still can. Perhaps I am rewiring my brain to be more aware of myself and what is happening around me. I have no idea really. I don’t find it unpleasant. The only reason I can give is that it just is. I don’t want it to stop. I want to appreciate it.

Yoga Plus

Yoga was first practiced in the Indus Valley some 4,000 years ago. Approximately 2,000 years before it was adopted in India and China. Archeological digs in the Indus Valley reveal a different form of yoga than is commonly practiced today. Statues of people practicing yoga reveal a sitting posture with focus on breathing — what today we call Breath Work. Vinyasa Yoga, or the practice of flow and movement yoga did not become prevalent until yoga practice moved east from the Indus Valley. Of course, this is a very simple explanation of the evolution of yoga. The history of yoga is a fascinating subject in itself. One I have barely tapped. I do know that I would like to lean more about Breath Work. From what I have read it has amazing healing power and can be very beneficial for overall health (as can Vinyasa Yoga).

I am currently reading the book “Breath,” by James Nestor. Nestor spent ten years researching this topic and it is an inspiring work. I’m planning to incorporate Breath Work along with meditation as soon as I complete a bit more research. I would like to find a teacher. I recently went to a Qi Gong class at my local Senior Center and was pleasantly surprised by the experience. Qi Gong is a gentle form of Vinyasa Yoga. I think the practice of Meditation, Breath Work and Qi Gong) can be very beneficial. I’m excited to try all three.

Manifestation

My writing tends to be pretty personal. Not what you would call non-fiction. That’s how I roll. There is a danger however; I need to be cautious not to fall into the “Manifestation” trap.

Manifestation can be compared to wishful thinking. For some, “imagining” an outcome you would like, means you can obtain it by persistent thought alone. That’s not how the world works. You can’t will the universe to give you what you want simply by concentrating your thoughts on your desires. I wish it were that simple.

In order to manifest any change in your life, you need a plan. A process to accompany that desire. I can’t simply write wonderful thoughts. My study of the Stoic masters and my occasional rants here about desirable attributes are not enough to effect change. I have to take substantive steps to achieve those things.

This is how I plan to achieve those things I write about, the ones that I find valuable. I’m going to meditate. I’m going to focus on my physical well being. I think these are the two things I can do on a regular basis to avoid simply “wishing” for change in my life. The first I commit to doing daily. The practice I plan to follow is wholly my own. The focus will be on asking myself how did yesterday go and what should today look like. I’ll also be critiquing my actions and looking for ways to improve how I am living. The second thing I commit to doing daily is exercise. I think exercise leads to more than good health. Besides making the body strong, I think it makes the mind strong. Both of those things bring the confidence to make the changes that are desired. To support those practices, I am also going to continue reading and writing. I like lists, so here is my list to help me “manifest” my self-improvement goals.

1. Meditate for Understanding
2. Exercise for Health
3. Read for Knowledge
4. Write for Joy and Peace

Wiring Your Brain

Whenever you use your brain (all the time) you are wiring your brain for its next thought. There is a reward circuit in your brain that takes whatever you are experiencing and records it. That circuit is accessed and whatever has been stored becomes what your brain seeks out. Whatever emotion you indulge in becomes what your brain seeks. So watch what you allow yourself to indulge in. Hate, anger and conspiracy will foment more hate, anger, and conspiracy. Love, happiness and joy will foment more love, happiness and joy. The choice is ours. Time spent intentionally cultivating the thoughts you would like to experience more often is time spent rewiring your brain. A few minutes a day is all that is needed. This is brain science.

Camping With Friends

Choose your friends wisely. Those with nothing to say sometimes make the best companions, even if they do steal your chair.

High West

There You Go

Jeffrey Epstein wrote in 2017 to former Treasury Secretary Lawrence Summers, “I have met some very bad people, none as bad as Trump. Not one decent cell in his body.”

I did a bit of research on the internet and this is what I came up with:

Regarding this quote, it originated from: “The emails released by the House Oversight Committee in November 2025 as part of a massive, newly disclosed trove of documents (over 33,000 pages) from Epstein’s estate and the Department of Justice.”

If Jeffrey Epstein said Trump is a bad person, that shouldn’t leave any doubt in anyone’s mind about what sort of person Trump is.

Internet Wisdom

There’s a lot of nonsense on the Internet. Occasionally you stumble into something that resonates with you. This is a perfect example.

“A wise man was asked, ‘What is anger?’ He gave a beautiful answer, ‘It is a punishment you give to yourself for somebody else’s mistakes.’”

I occasionally fall into this trap. When it happens, I regret it almost instantly. I try to walk away from those situations as best I can. It saddens me is when I see someone I love fall into this trap — and is unable to walk away. Instead they fall deeper and deeper into the pit of anger and keep returning to it over and over. Avoid this if you can and remember, we all fall victim to this from time to time. The key is to recognize when it is happening and do something to break the pattern.

Too Broke

“Too Broke,” by Tinsley Ellis

This is for all you Accounting Professors and Financial Advisors out there…

Wise man told me back in the day
Just can’t keep unless you give it away.
I’m too broke to worry,
Too broke to worry.
If you don’t wanna worry,
Stay broke all the time.

Give some to me and I’ll give some to you
That’s how it works and you know it’s true.
I’m too broke to worry,
Too broke to worry.
If you don’t wanna worry,
Stay broke all the time.

I seen a lotta weird stuff in my day
But I never seen a bank truck at a funeral parade.
I’m too broke to worry,
Too broke to worry.
If you don’t wanna worry,
Stay broke all the time.

Lke that came a lot you know,
You can’t get to heaven with a whole lot of dough.
I’m too broke to worry.
Too broke to worry.
If you don’t wanna worry,
Stay broke all the time.

Thank you… Here’s a tip, the best way to stay broke is to own a custom overland Tacoma… Also 5 bicycles, 2 pedal kayaks, an overland trailer, and a dual sport motorcycle…

Too Broke to Worry

Experiences

Calm doesn’t come from controlling your experiences. Calm comes from allowing your experiences to unfold how they may.

I’ll be the first to admit this is not easy for me. I recognize the wisdom in this. I’m working on incorporating this philosophy into my consciousness. I think it would make a good mantra.

Today I will allow my experiences to unfold on their own path rather than try to bend them to my will.

Kindness

When you choose kindness you are protecting yourself. No one can take that away from you. Your path is life is what you choose it. Make it a path that is controlled by you and no one else. Make it a path that is guided by kindness.

Anger

There is too much anger in the world. We all need to take a deep breath, exhale slowly through our nose, and think about what it is we are trying to accomplish. Our anger will only make us and those around us sick.

Writing

“Writing is both a craft and an art: a practical skill that can be taught and refined, and a creative practice through which sustained effort yields insight. The formula goes something like this: We read things, we have conversations about them to unravel their many levels, then we write. In that final part of the cycle—the writing part—are torments, perhaps even tortures, but good things happen. We become thinking people, mingling with complex ideas and perhaps coming up with some of our own.”

I stumbled into this piece by Jake Lundberg, a staff writer at The Atlantic. This pretty much describes what I do, for fun, here. He raises an interesting question in his piece. Will AI and Chatbots make the practice of writing irrelevant? Lundberg postulates that writing is vital to the formation of an educated mind. In my case, the writing I do is not vital to the formation of my mind, it’s more for the preservation of it. That’s another story. It does seem though that writing, for the sake of writing, is rapidly becoming a thing of the past.

I’m not about to declare writing dead. I love it and it serves an essential purpose in my life. When I can’t write any longer, I’ll have someone use a chatbot for me. It shouldn’t be hard to find a volunteer to do that. That won’t be a huge ask I’m sure. For the record, I don’t use one here and never have.

Sucked in Again

I got sucked into Substack again. I know better. At some point I’m going to have to remove that app from my phone. But today was another lesson in restraint. Believe it or not, I’m getting better at restraint even though today’s events wouldn’t necessarily lead you to that conclusion… Someone wrote a long piece about Trump’s speech today on the subject of Black History Month. The gist of the piece was that Trump talked about himself instead of about Black History Month. The speech was given before an assembly of black leaders and dignitaries. Oh well, nothing new here really. What was interesting were the replies on Substack. One person in particular was critical of anyone taking exception to Trump’s behavior. That person accused anyone that did not agree with him as having “TDS.” (Trump Derangement Syndrome.) Okay, I probably qualify as deranged, deranged about a lot of things. When it comes to skiing and cycling, I’m pretty deranged, I also have a tendency to be very particular about my bourbon, probably to the point of derangement, but I think when it comes to political analysis, I’m looking through a pretty clear set of lenses. Sorry, I digress. Getting back to the subject at hand, Substack posts, I had to chime in. Against my better judgement I replied. Before I tell you what I said, take note that when I post on Substack (the very few times I have) the posts show under my name “Brad Adkins.” Most posts are written by people who use pseudonyms rather than their real names. That’s the world we live in to be sure. That said said, I replied:

I don’t wear a mask and I use my real name. I prefer to think of myself as having TDNS rather than TDS.

If you look up TDNS you won’t find any references, I made it up. So for your edification I’ll spell it out, and I mean this in the kindest possible sense. TDNS stands for “Trump Does Nothing Syndrome.” That’s a bit of an understatement, I should have said, TDNTMAGAS.

My 401K Is Up

Your 401K might be up, but at what cost?

Is it worth it to be told Obama Care is bad and a better replacement is coming… and you’ve been hearing that for 9 years?

Is it worth it when the press and television are being censored at the insistence of the President of the United States?

Is it worth it when your First Amendment rights are being trampled?

Is it worth it to have a para-military organization deployed to American cities and the National Guard Federalized to provide immigration enforcement?

Is it worth it to have American citizens harassed and detained without a warrant?

Is it worth it to have American citizens murdered by agents of the federal government?

Is it worth it when you have a president that has more time for selling his personalized merchandise than he has for working on legislation to fix the problems he complains about on a daily basis?

Is it worth it to support a political party that does nothing else but provide financial enrichment to America’s most wealthy business people?

Is it worth it to support a political party that blames the opposition for every woe they can contrive with no solution other than saying the we alone can fix it?

And consider this if you will, what evidence do you have that says your 401K would not have done as well, or even better, if you had voted differently? There is more to life than money. Sometimes we need to make choices that will help our brothers and sisters, even if it means we won’t profit quite as much from the stock market as we might have hoped.