Sometimes I Cry
I’m not sure why. I don’t know if it is physiological or emotional or something else. I’m not even sure if it is a problem or a good thing. (I’m hoping it’s not a problem.) It’s been occurring almost once a day. It’s often brought on by music but not always. I think music stimulates this response because our thoughts alone are not able to move us quite as easily as music can. Music engages more senses than thought does. There could be other reasons. Let’s get weird for a second, not “bank truck at a funeral parade” weird, but truly weird: Perhaps I have finally succeeded in slowing my life down enough that I am starting to feel things I should have been feeling all along. I think as humans we are supposed to feel, but we have trained ourselves not to for all sorts of reasons. I think we are becoming a society that only thinks what we are told to think. In a way we have lost the skill required to feel what is inside of us. Of course there could be other explanations. Perhaps I am reaching the end of my life and this is my body telling me to pay attention while I still can. Perhaps I am rewiring my brain to be more aware of myself and what is happening around me. I have no idea really. I don’t find it unpleasant. The only reason I can give is that it just is. I don’t want it to stop. I want to appreciate it.