Your job is to keep the flame of goodness in you alive, today and everyday. If other people fail to keep the goodness in them alive, that’s on them. As long as you take care of your flame, the world is a better place.
It’s how you look at it. Do you “have-to”, or do you “get-to”. For the stoic, it is the latter. Out of “get-to” comes enlightenment.
To find our duty is our obligation. Once found, we must follow it. No shirking, no shrinking. This holds true in every phase of our life.
We all have a purpose and we are all interconnected. So every action is part of a larger consequence, a larger reality. The most important purpose? To do good and be wise in every undertaking.
This needs to be read at the beginning of every day.
Think of adversity as presenting opportunity. Every impediment we encounter is an opportunity for growth. (Even though it is hard to look at it that way.)
Watch what you are saying to justify your actions. Excuses are just that. You become who you are through effort and practice and actions.
Self criticism is good and it can be revealing, but that’s where it should end. Don’t beat yourself up. Self-loathing is self defeating.
How you handle even minor upsets in life reveals a great deal about you. In fact, it reveals everything.
If things aren’t going for you the way you’d like, think about trying something different.
The wise man has fewer problems than most. A wise man does not expect the impossible.
Only desire those things that are realistic. Be prepared for those things that might go wrong as well as the things you want to go right.
A wise stoic practitioner knows the right boundaries. It never benefits you to fight with anyone. In fact, to the best of your ability, it will be to your benefit to prevent other people from fighting. Keep your cool. It’s more important hearing what other people have to say than it is in making yourself heard.
There’s a long way and a short way to get to your goals. It’s a matter of asking yourself, what are my goals. Once you’ve identified them, you have to ask the next question which is, why do I want that goal. The answer to that question usually comes down to some very simple propositions. So simple in fact that it is really just a matter of choice. Those things you seek are often attained simply by making the right choice, not necessarily by following a complicated path.
The definition of insanity is doing the wrong thing over and over again and expecting different results. That notion is not new. I don’t know how many times I have heard that said, or how many times I have found myself doing that very thing. Stop doing that. Take a different path instead.
When you are faced with adversity or confusion, or you simply can’t make up your mind, take a walk. Breathe deeply while doing so. Your mind will benefit with clarity and new resolve.
Navy SEALs say to one another: “Calm is contagious.” If you present calmness it will benefit you and those around you. This is done by example not by command. You want to be the person that tells everyone around you to take a deep breath, and demonstrate that.
Focus on the here and now, focus on the details of what you need to be doing. Don’t look ahead, and by all means, don’t look ahead and dwell on the obstacles in your path or what could go wrong with your plan. Stay on task. Perform each step of your plan with intention and precision to the best of your ability. Don’t look at the big picture, just look at what is in front of you. (Okay, look at the big picture occasionally so you know you are still headed in the right direction.)
Correct your own faults and not the faults of others. Tempting fate by railing against others gains nothing, it only places more obstacles in your path.
You needn’t constantly be on the offense. Playing defense can be a strategic move and even lead to a higher level of happiness. Those who go on the offensive their entire life often end up unhappy and falling short of their desired goal. Think of it as a sort of Tai Chi. Equal emphasis is given to both offensive and defensive strategies.
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help. None of us were born with all the skills necessary to solve every problem. Our friends and family often hold the key to overcoming what is troubling us. If you need help, ask.
The reason why we have two ears and one mouth is so we might listen more and talk less.
Talking doesn’t always help. It hurts more often than it helps. Only give feedback when it is requested, or you might just make matters worse. Listening allows us to hear solutions. Talking creates noise that stifles our ability to hear the solution.
There are two sides to every problem. The side that perpetuates the problem and the side that allows us to break out and attack the problem differently. Think of them as two handles, one that doesn’t give us the leverage to lift and one that does. Some might think of this as perspective. It comes down to looking at the problem through new eyes and finding the solution that you have been overlooking.
Do not forget that life is a struggle both with forces outside our bodies and with forces inside our bodies. The best way to survive and prosper is to remember the virtues that keep us on track and moving forward: discipline, fortitude, clearheadedness and sacrifice.
Don’t focus on the obstacles in front of you. Focus on what you need to be doing to reach your goal. Focus on the details, the outcome will take care of itself. Not looking at the desired outcome will lead to greater success in the long run.
Stop caring what other people think. Don’t let caring what other people think force you to adopt their views.
Life is not cake. If you look at others and say “why not me,” you are playing a zero-sum game. When you look at the accomplishments of others with desire, you should say “I can do that too.”